Junior year, costume 1 of 2 - Name tag reads "Hello my name is a low-budget version of the early 90's"
This weekend marked my first Halloween weekend (or “Halloweekend” for all you unoriginal-Facebook-album-titling biddies) in four years that wasn’t spent among intoxicated Marios and Luigis, “Sexy Vampires / Cats / School Girls / Mormons / Hobos / Robots / Zombies / Robot Zombies / Communist Leaders / etc.,” or any other multiple sightings of costumes based on whatever current/not-really-current-anymore pop culture or political reference is big that year (see: Sarah Palin & pregnant daughter, and any other shit that’s funny for 5 minutes). This past weekend was also alumni weekend for my alma mater BU, so I actually had the opportunity to use that as an excuse to be that creepy old dude still going to college parties/bars…if it wasn’t for the fact that I generally look like a 12-year-old dressed up as a 22-year-old with the energy of an 87-year-old.
But instead of going up to Boston (based on reasons such as my friends/recent BU alums in NY thinking I’m a nerd for wanting to go to alumni weekend; the fact that I’m going to Boston next weekend to visit schools with my younger sister; and knowing that I probably don’t have enough willpower to avoid the undergrad scene with the prospect of reliving my college days), I opted to stay home in NJ. Plus, I figured I could have just as much fun (if not more) finally experiencing a “real world” Halloween by going out in the city or even Hoboken if I pregamed enough to believe I’m not still in NJ. “I will show those college kids that celebrating Halloween for 2 weeks long while ignoring responsibilities like econ midterms is NOTHING compared to a ‘real world,’ batshit crazy NYC Halloween!” I thought to myself while ignoring all weather reports. I was even planning on proving that New Yorkers were more likely to recognize my obscure TV show character costumes, unlike my senior year in Boston when a Masshole asked “are you Harry Pottah??” while I was dressed as Daria. This year, I was going to dress as Casey Klein from the brilliant-but-cancelled Starz series, Party Down. Granted, this would probably lead to people giving me their drink orders at bars, but I was okay with this (think of all the tips I could have mistakenly be given! probs way more than the girls dressed as stripper nuns/actual real strippers).
At the end of "The Week We Didn't Sleep," taking in all the sights from the Munich train while on our 1st weekend trip away from London
As I’ve mentioned, Halloween in college is celebrated for roughly 2 weeks. That consists of the weekend before Halloween until the weekend after, if Halloween falls on a weekday. This pretty much applies even if Halloween is on a weekend. The only time I can remember partying (or have some photographic evidence of memories) for a week long was the week in between arriving in London for the BU Study Abroad Program and the start of classes there (and senior week before college graduation, but that’s a given). Everyone wasn’t used to the time difference yet but we quickly adapted to the fact that we were all legally allowed to drink (most of us were 20 anyway). I don’t know if I’ll ever reach that high level of alcohol tolerance we all obtained while living in London and traveling throughout Europe (no one appreciates booze more with every meal/event than they do there, and more so in a classy than sloppy way). Despite this and the fact that Halloween fell on a weekend for half my college years, I generally celebrated for 2-3 days at most. Also, I’m secretly an old lady, so I only enjoy partying in moderation for significant reasons, such as holidays and 90’s-themed parties.
When my plans to go out in the city for my sisters’ birthday got pushed from Friday to Saturday, I wasn’t overcome by my college urge to celebrate Halloween for every night that it was socially acceptable (plus having 2ish jobs makes going out more than once a week — if even that much — a super tiring task). So I went to the gym after work, dressed as “girl who enjoys watching Food Network specials like ‘Battlefield Cupcake Challenge Halloween War Top Next Baker Boss’ or just shitty reality TV while wearing Halloween socks on a cardio machine.” Not my most creative costume, but it was REAL. Like Kardashian wedding contract/script real.
Snow in October is as bizarre as not celebrating Halloween for 2 weeks anymore
Saturday morning, I woke up and was not hungover from the no drinking I did the night before, nor was I in half pajamas/half early 90’s or flapper costume. But what’s more unusual than that college norm is that there’s a bastard of a snowstorm occurring outside my window. So now I’m snowed in and any plans for the rest of the weekend are cancelled because that mother of a nature. My goal of an authentic New York Halloween surrounded by inauthentic people (sluts disguised as sluts…actually, that’s pretty authentic) became as unachievable as a 4.0 at BU’s School of Management (don’t tell me otherwise, nerds). So naturally, I ate my feelings (this is what happens when I don’t get to drink my feelings) and watched TV while putting off updating this blog/uploading 7 months of pictures to Facebook/writing my character sketch for the Sketch 101 class I’m (finally!) taking at UCB NY. Oh, I also stayed up until midnight to watch that creepy ass dollhouse episode of 90’s Nickelodeon show Are You Afraid of the Dark? and was planning on watching more episodes (including a 1 am airing of Ahhh! Real Monsters) but then the power went out in my house, so I was forced to depend on my flashlight iPhone app and watch Daria episodes on my MacBook til my battery died…just like people did in the colonial days.
If the weather didn’t suck/I didn’t live in suburbia hell, I would have also tried to see the UCBeast Opening Show and ASSSSCAT with UCB’s founders (Matt Besser, Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh), which featured a bunch of other awesome comedians like Sue Galloway from 30 Rock and David Cross from Mr. Show (but most know him as analrapist Tobias Fünke on Arrested Development). To make up for my lame Halloweekend, I was going to check out the infamous West Village Halloween Parade on actual Halloween then head to a UCB sketch show with people from my sketch class, but my plans fell through and I wouldn’t get home until super late (like by the time I publish this article late), which is another downside to commuting from the suburbs when there’s cool shit always happening during weekdays in the city.
This is me celebrating Halloween at my cubicle...really went all out this year
Even my most minor attempt to celebrate Halloween by dressing as Liz Lemon for work this morning (secretly, since I’d pretty much be wearing my normal work clothes and no one would notice anyway) wasn’t accomplished. People in my department don’t seem to dress up any way, and the only thing that confirmed that it was actually Halloween and that I didn’t wash my Halloween socks or paint my nails black with sparkly orange on my ring fingers for NOTHING was when a network rep came around in an Amy Winehouse wig giving out candy from a plastic pumpkin.
And then I thought I was at least making good life decisions by going to the gym after work since I wasn’t staying out in the city, but I found out too late that my gym was closed since it had no power still. So of course I go to get an iced coffee and a brownie from the hipster coffee shop a few blocks away, in an attempt to trick or “TREAT YO SELF!” (copyright Parks & Rec) and because that makes up for the gym, right? Exactly not, but it didn’t last long since I don’t drink a lot of caffeine normally/I’m an old lady so I soon felt like shit and (spoil your dinner alert) barfed up the brownie — in the one instance I’ve ever puked on Halloween/Halloweekend. And that includes my childhood years of gorging myself with chocolate from strangers collected in a pillowcase as well as my college years of doing the same except with booze while surrounded by slutty-looking strangers with the personalities of a pillowcase.
But I did have an awesome weekend before Halloweekend — I made my first trip to the west coast/California/Los Angeles to visit my old roommate and accomplish life goals more important to me than a “real world Halloween.” I’ll eventually blog about that and hopefully it will be more brief than this rambling post. And I didn’t even have to drink alcohol to have an amazing time (mostly because I was chugging water from not being used to the desert weather and because my old lady energy caused me to be sick on-and-off). And this isn’t even a PSA for not drinking (though I don’t condone babies drinking *UKWUR!), but more like a PSA for “postgrad awareness that you’re not in college anymore, and shit’s not the same, like your energy to socialize among peers your age with the presence of alcohol.”
*babies being people who know what UKWUR stands for, which I might have made up but I think means “U Know Who U R” in teen angst language
Musings in 140+ Characters 